I wanted to go alone with you to the woods. We had made love there 100 times already but there was always a last time, last chance before you left for Canada, USA. I wanted to feel your soft warmth and breath next to my skin again. I missed you so much when you were gone. I had planted myself on top of someone’s horse and cart so I could leave whenever I was ready. I had taken a goat and some cheese and now I was going to come to you for the final time. Why did we always do this when one of us had broken up with someone again and in the in-between stages when we were both adrift and alone we just took off and held each other really close until the toxic emotional fumes had been driven out of our systems again. You didn’t believe I had to steal a pony and a goat to get to you but that’s where your vision of me is marred. I can have anything I want to and when I want to be in your hands and arms again you appear when my mind is contemplating something else.
So I packed my one and only bag, the one with the tattoo on its sleeve and patchwork clock on the back. I wanted to forget real time and live in a world where time doesn’t really exist and where we can be anywhere at any time. That meant I could be with you as soon as the next cock crows. And I had wanted to trek through Glastonbury on that pony for so long. We had been waiting at the stable yard but somehow I could not get through. I don’t know. I had to wait so long, so long for just a tiny break through. You never came to me any more. I had to pack my bag and the pony and then we were really ready. Oh well, it can’t be helped.
Green hills and faraway places. I don’t know why this picture of country lanes and faraway places haunted me forever, a place I had not yet been to. We won’t stay in Glastonbury for long, I know we won’t. We will trek on again and forever a mile longer. And I will never return home. It will be a long journey, one where anything can happen to anyone. I will always love you but I can never return now. I have come to you, to stay with you and I cannot go on anywhere else. Me and the pony are coming to you now, for good, for ever, time eternal. You don’t believe or remember this, I know you don’t . you don’t know anything at all. You dont know anything at all. Not really, not really.
So I packed and packed and waited and waited until me and the pony were really ready. We had waited so long. I did not want you to do this to me any more. I did not want you to do this to me any more. Yet you were pulling me towards you so strongly I could never let go. I was being pulled on a pulley rope like a carthorse, but not really, more like a little bird on a long string. You would not let me go. Why would you not let me go. I had always loved you but that didn’t mean I wanted to be with you forever. You are tormenting my mind. I had always wanted to live alone. Don’t you understand that. I wanted so much to find time alone and now you were going to destroy all that. I have wanted so much to bury myself in the rock pools and never look up, only see my own reflection, but you have pulled me back again and I can’t move one way or the other. I am lost, stuck down here in the pool you call invisibility and I will never know who I truly am if I am stuck to your skin like you do, like you want me to. I don’t know what else to do. Thats all.
So I took the stick to the pony. I did not know what I was doing but the pony was standing there, limping like some sick goat. Not really a goat but a DONkey goat. The ones that pull things and do jobs and serve like a real servant. But somehow I could not see you , you know what I mean? I couldn’t see you any more. I couldn’t see anything at all. And that was when I told you I couldn’t do this thing any more. I loved the pony more than you and it was sick and I was about to beat it with the stick because I was afraid of the hold you had over me. That was all. I was beating my beloved pony now and You didn’t know anything about it. You didn’t know anything, nothing, not really. You didn’t know a thing about what I was doing in this place. I was stuck in a barn day after day counting noisy haystacks. Thats all just haystacks. I had to go away thats all, get away from the humdrum of it all until I had nowhere else to look, go. Oh, go away there’s no harm in it but you have to get away now, and so does the pony. Thats it! Go!
So the poor pony lost and Jody got out her purse and took a bus to Glastonbury. The pony was dead and spurting blood from the wound in its head. She had got a bus pass for her disability and was able now to get to Glastonbury to see her father who had haunted her all his life and was about to take her life away from her.