I left my
Blood soaked platter
And exited the murderous den
Where I made a mountain of ketchup
Till it licked my brand new shoe
It swamped my face
In garlic and herbs
Made a mockery of me and
The bleeding beasts
The head appeared
In the middle of the night
While people were out shopping
For barbecue tongs
It said from its creamy blue tongue
‘Get off now it’s late
Little girls should be
Safely tucked up in bed
Cos the gremlins will come
Cut off your head
And spike its neck
Till the bald-headed rat
Eats it all in haste’
I said I’d been
To the one legged barbecue
The head said
‘So you ate us
You cruel headed being!’
‘I’m sorry!’ I cried
From the depths of my heart
To the bald-headed rat
‘It wasn’t your brethren
Just chickens and ducks
‘But we’re all the same’
It declared through its teeth
‘We’re alive and wandering around like you,
So it’s you who is next
Get moving for sure
Cos humans go well with
Red-blooded ketchup too!’